Are You a ‘Responsibility’ Addict?
In light of some of the confusion and surface-level teachings going on about the “responsibility game” (as in how far you should take your need to be responsible for everything that you see, feel, and experience), let’s start by analyzing, and putting deeper meaning, around this belief:
“Most people have no idea what responsibility means… They are into blame. As they grow and become more aware, they begin to consider that they are responsible for what they say and do. Beyond that, as you become even more aware, you can begin to realize that you are responsible for what everyone says and does, simply because they are in your experience. If you create your own reality, then you created all you see, even the parts you don’t like.” ~ Joe Vitale, Zero Limits
The above quote is excerpted from Joe Vitale’s best-selling (of course, he has the process down!) book, Zero Limits, which is about the ancient Hawaiian art of Ho’oponopono. The basic premise is that you are responsible for absolutely everything you experience, whether within your control or seemingly beyond your control, simply for the fact that you are experiencing it.
In order to change it, you must clean yourself by sending out love, gratitude, and apologies to the Universe.
Now, apparently there have been some pretty awe-inspiring results come out of this seemingly strange practice. And yet, we keep meeting people who do and teach Ho’oponopono but still don’t take responsibility for their lives and everything that happens to them. They still act as victims if someone says or does something that they don’t like.
So the question is… are they extremely incongruent? Or do they just have a feeling, deep down, that we’re really NOT responsible for everything that occurs within our awareness? Or is it perhaps a combination of both?
And more importantly, where does the truth lie? Are we, in fact, responsible for everything we see, hear, smell, taste, feel and experience… whether it occurs in our own backyard, or halfway around the world?
====== Continued =======
This question has been floating around the spiritual circles, and hotly debated, for some time now.
Followers of the movie The Secret tend to believe what the movie tells them, which is that we “attract” or “create” everything in our lives.
In the movie, Bob Proctor says that everything in your life, you are attracting into your life. Mike Dooley says that Thoughts Become Things. Michael Beckwith says that creation is always happening. Joe Vitale says you’re like Michelangelo, and the David you’re shaping is you. Winston Churchill is quoted as saying that you create your own Universe as you go along. Quantum physicist Fred Alan Wolf says that the mind is shaping the very thing being perceived.
>> So they don’t really say “responsible”, they say “attract” and “create”. But that begs the question… is “attraction” and “creation” the same thing? And where does responsibility fit in?
I think that Fred Alan Wolf’s assessment that the mind shapes the very thing being perceived is spot on, because perception is so often taken as cold hard fact by most people. “You attacked me,” “You turned your back on me,” “You yelled at me,” “You cut me off on purpose,” and so forth are all perceptions of an event that took place, and/or perceptions of the intent of another person involved.
But often these perceptions are completely the opposite of what the other person intended… and intention is so much more powerful than perception when it comes to what reality is.
So our minds shape what we experience based on our perceptions… but those perceptions do not make reality, just what we perceive as reality (which we can call “our reality,” as in “we create our own reality,” but it may not have any impact whatsoever on anybody else… and is therefore not “true reality”).
If I send you a gift from the heart that I honestly think you’ll appreciate and enjoy, and you decide that there must be some hidden message in why I would pick that particular thing, what’s true? My intention of giving a gift from the heart? Or your perception of the hidden message that was “wrapped up” with the present?
I think it’s pretty clear that my intention is what’s true, and your perception, while it might seem true to you, is really not. Your perception shapes your reality, but no one else’s, unless you’re determined to tell everyone you know how terrible I was for giving you the gift. Then you’re influencing my reality, and all the other people’s reality too. But you haven’t changed true reality unless you can change everyone’s beliefs — including mine — about what happened.
But I don’t think that “perception” is the same as “creation”, and I don’t think that perception requires taking responsibility for what is… only for what our reactions are to it.
And in fact, despite the common habit of using both words interchangeably, I don’t think “attraction” is the same as “creation”, either.
When Joe says we’re like Michelangelo, sculpting our own Davids (ourselves) he is definitely saying that we “create” our reality. Now, we have nothing against Joe. He’s a great guy, and helped both Barry and myself get started in this industry. In fact, he’s partially responsible for us being together.
But now, after lots of investigation and study, we’re starting to question this premise.
We “attract” what’s in our lives, absolutely. That’s the Law of Attraction, and it’s not going to change. But “create” — as in the artistic sense of create? I’d have to say no, not by that definition of “creation”.
Think of it this way… you can attract another person to you. But you can’t create another person, unless that person is your offspring (and then you’re only co-creating with your partner)!
I’ve painted many paintings in my life. They start with a blank white canvas, and I can create absolutely anything I want on that surface. It might be a cartoonish animal, it might be a landscape, it might be a portrait of a person, or it might be totally abstract. There are no rules, and I can create whatever I choose.
In life, we can’t create whatever we choose. If you want your skin to be naturally darker, you can’t create that. If you want to be a natural blonde when you’re not, you can’t create that. If you want to use your own leg power to leap over tall buildings in a single bound, you can’t create that. If you want to run faster than a speeding bullet, or be more powerful than a locomotive, you can’t create that.
If you want to have four legs, or six arms, or three eyes, you can’t create that. If you want a unique pet, you can’t just create any Dr. Seuss-like character you can conceive… even if you believe it (sorry, Napoleon!)
Physics rule just as hard and fast as metaphysics, and you can’t bend the rules.
But you can absolutely attract anything that already exists on this planet… it was created by the Universe (The Creator, or a co-creation of the Universal consciousness, including you) but it’s attracted by you.
If you write a book, you created it. If you read a book that happened to come along into your life at the precise right time, and you just know it was a sign from the Universe… you still didn’t “create” it. You only “attracted” it.
Or, as I like to say: We don’t create, we facilitate.
If creation is the equivalent of an artist’s painting, then facilitating is the equivalent of making a collage out of pictures that you’ve cut out of magazines, photographs you’ve taken, keepsakes and mementos you’ve picked up, and various other odds and ends lying around.
In the corporate world, we facilitate a meeting — conceive it, put it together, make sure it happens and guide the way it unfolds. But nobody says we create a meeting, because you can’t create how others will be involved.
Facilitating is basically another way we can look at attracting, but it implies a more hands-on approach that I really like, and that inspires self-responsibility for what we experience.
Back to the example of attracting vs. creating other people… Barry and I were first “attracted” to each other 
in the classic metaphysical sense: the Law of Attraction at work. But Barry facilitated our first conversation by taking the initiative to email me.
Over a year later, we became “attracted” to each other in the physical sense: animal magnetism at work. But again, Barry facilitated that becoming more than just a mutual admiration. Yes, he was the one kick-starting that phase in our relationship too. But a couple of weeks later, when I also realized what I wanted, I helped in the facilitation process (by sending him an REO Speedwagon song, to begin with) and we ended up where we are now (another whole journey in itself).
Yes, you could say we “created” the relationship. But from a true something-out-of-nothing perspective of creation, we really “facilitated” it happening the way we had designed and envisioned, rather than creating it from scratch.
But back to one of my original questions: Are we absolutely responsible for everything we experience — whether it happens in our personal circle of influence, or halfway across the world?
Are you responsible for a tsunami because you watched it being covered on the TV news? Are you responsible for a co-worker being fired because you witnessed the boss axing him? Are you responsible for the price of gas because you filled up your car? Are you responsible for global warming because you commented on how nice the hot weather was last summer?
Various scenes in The Secret would imply yes. The principles of Ho’oponopono say absolutely, yes. Barry and I say no (sorry, Joe!)
As Barry put it to a very I’m-out-to-save-the-world-with-my-powers-of-light questionable teacher he met last week, who felt we were attacking her principles:
“When you attempt to take responsibility for everybody else’s actions and behavior, and presume that EVERYTHING (yes, EVERYTHING) is a projection from inside you, not only do you take away the very things the people you’re taking responsibility for need most (a real-world awareness of their own part in their experiences), you can end up taking the concept of oneness to narcissistic levels.” ~ Barry Goss
Now at this point, it’s important to make a clarification. When teachers talk about “you” creating your personal reality, or being responsible for what you personally experience, they are often talking about your Higher Self you, not what we’ll call your Lower Self you. They don’t usually make that distinction, which is why so much confusion abounds… but that’s what they really mean.
The Higher Self is you on a spiritual plane — the part of you that has all, knows all, and probably guides all in your life. The Lower Self is you on the physical plane — the part of you that experiences all, and is learning with each step along the way.
We could call it Mini Me (physical) and Maxi Me (spiritual); or as fellow metaphysical writer Stuart Davis says, the spiritual part is your Self and the physical part is your self. Get it? Upper case “Self” = Higher Self, and lower case “self” = Lower Self.
The point is, listening to teachers who say “we already have everything we need” or “we’re already whole” is misleading, because they mean the Higher Self, which of course is already whole! We don’t need anyone to tell us that, it’s obvious. But most of us aren’t 100% connected to what our Higher Self knows and wants at any given time.
So if you get raped or mugged and a teacher tells you you’re “responsible” for that, should you feel terrible about it? No, because if there is any responsibility in the equation, or if it was pre-planned for that event to happen, it was all your Higher Self’s doing. The Lower Self experiences it, and can choose how to react to it (such as acting like a victim, or taking a strong stance as a survivor or, even better, a thriver).
But obviously the Lower Self did not choose to experience that, even if the Higher Self did. The Lower Self is not fully responsible, even if the Lower Self attracted it.
How would the Lower Self “you” attract such a terrible thing? Either by thinking and feeling things like “nobody’s trustworthy,” “everyone’s out to get me,” “men are only after one thing from me,” etc… or by walking around like a victim with shoulders stooped, expecting the boogey man to jump out at any second. Criminals look for the victim attitude, and never attack someone who walks with confidence and a don’t-mess-with-me attitude.
Extending this argument to global events takes on a whole different level of suspended disbelief, however.
Can we say we’re responsible for that tsunami because we walked around like a victim? Or even that we’re responsible because we watched the weather report on TV and said out loud, “Wow, the environment is really getting out of whack lately!”
We don’t think so… what do you think?
Before you start thinking, “Well, all those people in The Secret say we’re responsible, what do Heather and Barry know?” and just quoting from other people’s work… we’d really like to have you engage in an intelligent discussion here instead.
What does your soul tell you? What are your gut reactions? How much of what you experience or witness do you truly feel you’re responsible for?
And when engaging in this discussion, keep in mind whether you’re referring to your Higher Self or Lower Self when you say “I”.
To get you thinking, here’s an excerpt from a recent article that Stuart Davis wrote.
The Self is absolute freedom. The self is relative delusion. The Secret is appealing to the relative self and pretending it’s the absolute Self.
The Secret crowns the Ego as God (I mean, YOU create Reality, isn’t that amazing? YOUR THOUGHTS are INFINITELY influential), then makes two disastrous leaps.
#1, Now that you know YOU create your own reality through the spiritual enterprise that is “thinking, feeling”, what do you, the Creator, want to create with your thoughts? Wealth. Money, power, influence, status, and the luxury afforded the elite who amass fortunes. The Secret will teach you how. Odd, isn’t it, that your self is so spiritual and powerful, but what it chooses to Attract with its Law is money, houses, lovers? Not the liberation of all sentient beings, not relief for every creature, not the cessation of that which is the Source of Suffering (clutching, desire, greed arising from the illusion that there is an “other”), but a refinement of the Source of Suffering. A manipulation of it. The Secret turns Desire and Clutching into a technology you can wield, AND it’s Spiritual! The cure is worse than the disease.
#2, Since YOU create your own Reality (Oprah went to pains to stress and emphasize this point, and had Rhonda explicitly confirm precisely that phrase “we create our own reality”) you are responsible as the Source of whatever arises in your Reality. Every thing in your experience, you created (merely using thoughts and feelings! Wow). Many of you reading this right now may be astonished to finally understand that you gave yourself cancer. You caused yourself to be raped, robbed, murdered, stricken with every malady in the canon of illness, beset with each kind of strife imaginable. The Holocaust? Just something Jews brought on themselves, as they each apparently created their own Reality. The Rape of Nanking? Bad Chinese, with their bad thoughts and feelings, simply created their own reality and thus caused the unspeakable murder of 350,000 innocent children, women, and men. Weird, the Reality people create for themselves, ain’t it?
Of course, it’s hard to overstate how cruel and insulting such a notion is. The impossibly sick premise that people in such situations create their own Reality is so obviously wrong, so self-evidently false to our basic intuition, that we can almost laugh it off. I mean, we could if Oprah — perhaps the most influential woman in the Western World — hadn’t gone to pains to repeatedly emphasize and confirm it with Rhonda Byrne to an audience of tens of millions. Tens of millions of people who literally oreint their lives according to these sorts of “discoveries”.
Hmmm… now where do YOU stand on the issue? What does your intuition tell you about what you’re responsible for?
We realize it’s a big leap of faith to go against Oprah, The Secret and Ho’oponopono. But Barry, Heather and Stuart strongly feel that those premises can be misleading at best, and dangerous at worst.
Yes, since we’re not one of the souped-up, status quo, stage-walking mentors you’re used to seeing and hearing all over the place, we realize that many people will wonder how we have the the right to challenge the somewhat conventional (or at least mass-distributed) spiritual wisdom that we’re responsible for all.
But hey, questioning and challenging is what we do here! It also defines what we are (or at least our Lower Selves).
We realize that some people will even get angry with us… but we’d like to say right up front, once again, that our reactions are what we can control and are responsible for.
Just remember my favorite Jack Canfield formula: E+R=O (Event + Reaction = Outcome) and take a curious look at your reaction to what you read here. Does it ring true? Does it ruffle your feathers? Does it make you want to embrace us, or lash out? Only you have control over that… we’re not responsible! 😉
But that’s good news, because taking self-responsibility for your habits, your reactions, and your roadblocks is one of the most empowering things you can do. It allows you to see your self-defeating behavior and patterns, and adjust accordingly so you facilitate a more desirable situation for yourself. We just don’t think you need to take self-responsibility for the earthquake in California.
We’re not approaching this from the position of uninformed non-spiritual people who just don’t get it. We’re approaching it from the stance of investigators who have been there, done that, dug deeply, and discarded what doesn’t jive.
Now, post your comments below and tell us what “you” (Higher or Lower Self) think!
Ready? Set? GO! – Leave a REPLY below….
Your Partner in the Quest For
Living a Life Without Limits,
Filed under: Critical-Thinking, Manifestation
Thanks for being a catalyst for this great discussion Heather.
You made me laugh how many times you used “should” in the reply to my comments 🙂
It was interesting to observe the comments by the man that he felt he was seeing lots of people arguing in way that says one view is right and another is wrong. That is not what I observe going on either.
You keep using this phrase “TRUE reality”.
Maybe you can define clearly what you mean by that because I’ve read your views of the gift example and the concept of a TRUE reality I feel is the sticking point of what your preceptions of reality are.
Great discussion going on. Thanks again for creating it.
I feel responsible 100% for my personal reality and although I do not feel responsible for everything that goes on in the collective world I do take the view it is a *reflection* of some aspect of me for on some level and much of it is unconscious. The things that might trigger us emotionally are the ones to take a real good look at and deal with in our life.
I’m also loving how this discussion has evolved to look at the distinction between *attraction* and *creating*
As manifestors it is something to take a look at to become more artful and conscious in our manifesting.
Take care all and thanks for contributing to a wonderful disccussion here. The diversity of views and opinions is cool to read through.
[Heather’s REPLY]:
Hi Shaun,
Some people feel that our perceptions make our reality. I don’t think they do… I think they only represent our perception of the truth, and nothing more.
If a child perceives that there is a Santa Claus — a fat jolly man in a red suit who flies around on a sleigh pulled by magic reindeer and comes down his chimney to leave toys in his stocking — does that make it so?
If I know that I was the one who bought the presents and put them in his stocking, because I was directly and 100% responsible for that… does his perception of reality hold any water in the grand scheme of things? Obviously for him, he thinks it’s true, but I believe the big picture is important.
The child’s perceived reality is one thing, but “True reality” is what truly happened… which was me putting toys in his stocking.
Otherwise, we wouldn’t be truth seekers here… what’s the point if everyone’s perception makes “reality”?
cheers
Heather
sorry, I meant to type perceptions and see I typed preceptions.
I’m 100% responsible for my typos.
None of you readers are responsible for the typos I manifest. But it is a reflection of some aspect of you being neglectful on some level of being and you did attract it to your computer screen…..lol
G’day Heather,
We have differing perceptions in this discussion and the great mystery and wonder of reality will always intrigue our curious human minds.
I guess I could explain it this way.
The truth as I see it is we are having an expierence
What we experience from moment to moment is our reality. I do not have a definition for true reality. For me there is none. There is a nature of reality, yes. But a true reality has no meaning to me.
There is experience based on beliefs. These beliefs cause us to have perceptions. A familar one of a child experiecne of Santa at Christmas time or the extremely unfamilar such a the noble pize winning scientiest depicted in the story of the movie called “A Beautiful Mind”
A child believing in Santa has the perception of gifts under christmas tree as having been delivered by Santa.
Therefore because for that child that is what they experience, it *is reality* to that child.
Once the child belief changes there future experience of Christmas is different. Their reality has changed. However their orginal experience does not change when their reality was there was a Santa in their world.
They can change the meaning of that past experience though, but not the experience at the time it occurred.
You’ve got some interesting phrases Heather such as “holds water in the grand scheme of things”
What is this grand scheme of things to you ?
What is this true reality to you ?
You’ve identified yourself as a truth seeker and looking for a point for *making reality* as you put it.
The truth as I see it is we create our reality to have experiences. We *make believe* to have an experience….and those beliefs can change for different experiences
I know many people call themselves seekers of truth, higher truths etc. I’ve never felt any attraction to that way of being in the world. I guess I see myself as an explorer, as distinct from a truth seeker and my *perception* as an explorer makes sense to my head and heart. I guess you could say I believe we are spiritual beings having a human expierence because we can 🙂
I feel what we observe *as* our reality is an illusion. There is no true reality so to speak. There is a collective consensus of beliefs that forms the illusion of a collective reality that we experience as our waking world we share with 6 billion other souls but even within this collective reality there are things we consider to be more real or less real but even those categories are based on belief sysytems. Reality to me is not absolute.
I read this quote recently and felt it as one of the most interesting quotes I ever read.
“What we observe is not nature itself, but nature exposed to our method of questioning”
Werner Heinsenberg, Ph.D. 1901-1976
Take care all and happy manifestiing
[Heather’s REPLY]:
Hi Shaun,
Yes, we definitely have a different view on this point… I thought I explained it, but since you asked again “What is this true reality to you?” I’ll try it again.
I feel very strongly that what I call “True Reality” is what really happened, regardless of the perceptions of the people involved. Perceptions, as I’ve said before, are the weak link in what people experience… the intention is much more important, because everybody has a different perception and sometimes those perceptions can be WAY off.
If my child believes Santa put the toys under the tree, that may be “his” reality, or his perception of reality, but that doesn’t mean it happened. There are three sides to the reality coin… his perception of it, my perception of it, and the truth (which may mesh up with one or both perceptions, but may be completely different too).
If a person thinks he can leap over tall buildings with a single bound — and believes so with all his heart — that doesn’t make it true.
If the American people believe that astronauts walked on the moon, that doesn’t make it true. There’s evidence to say they did, and evidence to say they did not… but there IS a truth to what REALLY happened, and our perception one way or another does not influence that truth.
This is what you asked me about: “What is this grand scheme of things to you?” This is it, the “big picture” or “forest reality” as compared to our “small picture” or “tree reality” — the personal reality we experience that may not mesh up with the big picture truth. Barry talked about it in his last video on this blog, too.
I once had a co-worker call me to a meeting and say, “I guess you know why I want to talk to you.” I had no clue, however. She had a perception that I did not like her, and had all sorts of evidence that she perceived backed that up… except that none of the evidence was true, and it didn’t mesh at all with my intention. For instance, I used to edit a staff newsletter that I sent to the bosses each week to let them know what was happening in the field. If I wrote “In Western Ontario, the buying patterns are this… but in Eastern Ontario, they’re more concerned with this…” based off both of our experiences that week, she felt that I was saying she was wrong. None of the other co-workers felt that; they knew it was an indication of geographically-related buying trends. But to her it was personal, which just was not true.
Just like there’s a commenter on this blog who thought people were saying “You’re wrong, I’m right” in this discussion. He perceived that, but that does not make it true.
Similarly, just because someone does not BELIEVE in a universal law, that does not mean it’s not true.
If I don’t BELIEVE in the Law of Gravity, I don’t float around without touching the ground. If I don’t BELIEVE in the Law of Attraction, I may make up evidence of how it doesn’t work (like “Well, if it worked I would be rich”) without realizing that me not being rich is an indication of how it DOES work. But either way, my perception or belief does not affect whether it’s true or not.
So, no matter how many quotes you present, you can’t convince me that there is no true reality, but only reality based on individual perceptions, and that every perception or belief makes the truth.
Sorry, Shaun… I love your involvement here, but I’m just not going for that! 😉
cheers
Heather
Interesting topic and discussion going on here. IMHO, the answer to your question regarding responsibility is dependent upon the perspective from which it is viewed. If I am attending a class and the room I am in collapses, am I responsible for the collapse? No, however I chose to take responsibility for my safety when I chose to attend the class. Seems to me that most people who board an aircraft are aware that there is a possibility that that plane could crash land yet assume the responsibility for their own lives when they board it anyway. Life is what happens usually when you are on your way to do something else!
Seems to me, in the greater Consciousness, we all chose to come here to experience life on this planet and in so choosing, automatically took responsibility for whatever was going to be experienced via the choices you made after you got here.
[Heather’s REPLY]:
Hi George,
Yes, all very true… but the question goes beyond that.
If you’re watching the NEWS and see that a classroom collapsed in Japan, but you’re in the US, does that make you responsible for it because you became aware of it?
Some teachers say yes, and that’s a big part of the discussion here.
cheers
Heather
Hi Heather,
Hey, I think your 3 sided coin reality model *works*.
I just think there is a lot more than 3…lol
It would be fun playing poker with you 🙂
I was not trying to convince you to buy a 4 sided coin 😉
Truth can be stranger than fiction.
I feel intent is most important aswell in human relations.
I like the intent of this discussion as too many people do feel responsible for things that do them or no one else any good in their respective lives.
It is one thing to be aware of things going on in our collective world. The outer world is a reflection of what is going on in our inner world. If something in our outer world upsets us you deal with the root cause which is the inner world. Our own inner world is something we have complete control over and it is each our own responsibility how we take care of our inner world.
take great care there
Heather:
IMHO, the “teachers” who would profess such nonsense are not worth their “spiritual salt” and should have their “spiritual vision” examined! Many years ago I had many questions which led me to interview lots of people who were supposed to be “spiritual”. The bottom line turned out to be that nobody knew for sure but had strong opinions only. That was not good enough for me and I HAD to KNOW for myself FIRST HAND-preferably by direct experience. I dedicated my life to that end, to find out the truth of what is for myself. Learning in the process how to spiritually travel, I chose to go straight to the Heart of the Godhead, the Source of All Knowledge. My passion to know culminated in full Cosmic Consciousness and entrance to the Heart of the One Itself. Cool huh? That sojourn is absolutely the most ultimate journey any human can experience. It doesn’t get any better than that! Learned very much with that and learning continues 20 years after the fact! So my ultimate answer to your question is simply this: don’t settle for someone’s opinion, go within and experience it directly, then you will KNOW!
After Sarah Palin’s church burned down the other day in a reported arson attempt, she did this:
“Palin told an assistant pastor she was sorry if the fire was connected to the “undeserved negative attention” the church has received since she became the vice presidential candidate..”
She feels some responsibility there…even though it’s an indirect result if proved to be the case.
Hi Heather,
Thanks for your reply. I also read your replies to others. I understand that our perceptions are only OUR perceptions creating our subjective reality i.e. our experience of reality and not the reality as it is. I also agree that we are only marginally responsible for the state of the world. However, you said that you are not sure if this marginal responsibility comes from our lower selves or the higher self(collective consciousness on a spiritual level.) The point that you are making is that we can’t be responsible for the state of the world at a larger level. There are realities that we cannot control with our conscious thinking or even with our unconscious thinking, for ex, our perceptions are not causing Tsunami or the terrorist attacks. We as individuals have done nothing to cause these realities. This is a sound logic. However, scientists and mystics today are talking about a different reality and according to them every thought is an electromagnetic impulse having an electromagnetic field and whatever each consciousness(soul) thinks, especially at an unconscious level, which is far more powerful than the conscious(lower self), gets stored in the core of earth. Therefore, if the frequency of the thought vibration is of lower level i.e. a fearful thought or revengeful thought, it too will get stored in earth’s core and impact its magnetic field. The earth’s magnetic field being badly impacted is what is causing Tsunami and not one individual watching television and commenting about the environment, however if that individual has got any fearful thoughts in his consciousness, then he is certainly playing a role by contributing into the magnetic field of the earth. It does not mean that this particular individual (his lower self) should blame himself for anything or that he ought to be punished by nature but certainly if this person becomes conscious of the fears that are stored in his unconscious mind and experiences them, and experiences the pain that his fearful thoughts are causing him, he will contribute in healing the earth and if a specific number of individuals start doing this, we’ll never witness a Tsunami again. I feel that no individual is to be blamed for the state of the world today but we as a human race are collectively responsible for the mess, however to sort this mess the key lies with the individual. If each individual takes up the responsibility of changing his/her thoughts, both conscious and unconscious and transforms the way he/she thinks, feels, and acts, the world will be a different experience. After all reality is as it is because of some of the dominating perceptions of a large number of people. The world is run by the popular perceptions of a majority and hence our reality. When a large population holds on to a belief, they act from it and create a larger reality. If the majority is not happy with the choices they are making they need to check their perceptions and THEY means each individual because at a larger level everyone counts and has a role to play. I feel that our higher self is our indweller or the inner voice that can always make us conscious of our unconscious and help us choose better thoughts and feelings so that we create a better reality.
If the majority believes in revenge we will witness more violence and terror but if the majority believes in forgiveness we will enter into an altogether different reality. I feel that the time has come for this idea to become popular that every individual counts because it is the reverse attitude of not taking responsibility and unconsciously supporting things that we actually do not like is what has caused the world to suffer through the terrorist attacks and environmental degradation.
I can best sum up by saying that collectively every individual counts. That is how
I feel about it, if there is any other angle to it, I would certainly like to look at it.
Love
Pratishtha
Hi Heather,
Thank you so much for your response, I agree with you that we are not personally responsible for everything going on around us, but we are responsible of how we respond to it. I still think that perceptions are a very strong component of our reality, look at the middle ages; the generalized perception, at least in Europe was that the world was flat and that whatever was not stated in the Bible could not be real, and so it was for the people living in that context. Fewer people in those days lived to even have one day free of worry; hunger and abject misery were prevalent, and people died of perfectly preventable diseases. 2 out of every 10 births ended up with the death of the mother or the child, and thus there were so many orphans and so much misery in the world simply because people did not realize that they could avoid so many deaths by simply washing their hands, doctors at that time were like butchers and because they could not “see” the bacteria, they never considered that the cause of infection was something they could not see or perceive. Now we know better and we have solved many problems in the realm of health. As for medical science these days, I think it is really bad in the US because money is perceived to be more valuable than human life; that is why the pharmaceutical and insurance industry have such a big say in our policies. Personally, I think access to adequate health care should be a universal right. That is my perception and if enough of us think that way, the situation can change for the better. That’s not to say that mistakes will cease to occur, people continue to die due to perfectly preventable causes due to human mistakes, but at least the abuse of the health care industry would diminish and it would lead to an improvement.
And those of us who perceive that pills are not always the answer and that they cause more problems than they solve, have access to better ways to take care of our health, simply because we have a broader perspective.
I don’t know enough about Ho’oponono to know what level of responsibility it proposes, but I do think that we are all better off because we are starting to realize that we are not powerless by standers. As for the painter, I do think that imagination has a starting point as well, imagination is simply stretching reality. The painter’s interpretation is unique, but it is still an interpretation of a thing, feeling, emotion or all of those combined. Nothing comes out of the blue.
[Heather’s REPLY]:
Hi Tatiana,
Yes, exactly… people used to think the world was flat. That was their perception… but even though they believed it, that didn’t make it true.
That’s why I say perception is the weak link. I don’t care what people perceive and believe… if it’s bogus, it’s still bogus, no matter how many people swear it’s true!
And when people say something came “out of the blue” that means it was inspired by the “other side” (the spiritual realm). It’s from our Higher Self, or the Universal consciousness filtered through our Higher Self… and yes, it exists, I’ve experienced it! Things that didn’t come from “my” (Lower Self) imagination, but from “my” (Higher Self) Creative Source.
Heather
GREAT ARTICLE – kind of agree with both views; however, I think many of our so called “creations” are so remote from our personal sphere of influence that it is pointless to blame ourselves for everything that happens. The flip side, of course, is taking no responsibility either. I guess that the key here is “appropriate responsibility” And, of course, there is always the trick of being “clear” enough to perceive when the information that we are receiving is indeed actually “accurate.”
Great website. Great resource. Thank you so much for your
insights! All the best
I believe in taking full responsibility for our OWN thoughts, actions, reactions and emotions, if everybody was to do that then we wouldn’t feel like we have to take responsibility for each others.
By doing this, each individual learns the lessons taught by taking full responsibility.
Hi Heather and Barry. I love your passion. I’ve been there…the passion about these matters. Well, I mean, I’m still passionate about all of this, but in how we see the knowledge base of the subject matter being distributed and taught and how people ‘choose’ to absorb the available pool of knowledge in this arena.
I feel that “The Secret” is a good introduction to the metaphysical way of looking at this, and the movie; “What the Bleep Do WE Know?” is a good intro to both the metaphysical and the new quantum physics understandings with focus on the quantum views.
But, this is all they really are, introductions. After the intros, people who are inclined to, continue with their newfound education of the subject and the application of it to their lives.
I’m a “teacher” of this subject matter in my circle of influence, at my place of work, circle of friends and family, and the like, and hope to become a publisher and expand my teaching ability to extend to “the masses”, too, someday (read that as “plan to become…”).
I do have a following, and these are good, grounded people. As with all people living in this collective reality, here, they (we) all have unique problems (read as “challenges”), but hold the positive outlook that we can change our circumstances…with knowledge and action.
One of the first principles I like to make people aware of is one found in the Bible and in the secular world’s US Department of Labor Statistics. That is, most people are headed down the wrong path and that those numbers are not likely to change much, and that few are those finding the “higher path” (the path leading to everlasting life, to paraphrase the Bible; and the path to financial independence, according to the secular statistics).
The difference I want to make clear to those I work to help, is what you are also focusing on here, personal responsibility.
Responsibility to first acknowledge that each of us CAN change the future we carve out before ourselves, and the responsibility that it takes the kind of commitment that means changing the way one thinks and spends time (read “uses time”). That it takes the commitment to dedicate ones self to changing deep underlying beliefs and habits, the ones that exist below our surface of consciousness that guide us through the time we “spend”.
It takes the act of “making ourselves over”, which is by no means a small task for most. It takes the knowledge that some people already have some of the needed qualities and beliefs, and use them, but finding the other things that need changing or ‘tweaking’ in order to make the life we would ultimately choose to live, while also understanding that most of us have complete remodels to attend to.
THEN, it takes the ongoing commitment, after acknowledging all of the above, to choose the life we want (another very difficult task for most…was for me), to begin to study and implement, and mostly, to continue, continue, continue.
Jim Rohn says it really is easy to change and have the life we want, problem is, it’s easier NOT to.
So, until one changes their habits of study, belief and action, it takes constant attendance to the commitment to change by making the conscious decisions that NEED to be made to stay on track.
After some time of doing this, it becomes habit, and actually becomes enjoyable if it had not been before.
Then, I like people to know (from my own experiences) that for most, we have a certain “momentum” going in our lives that needs to be redirected in order to begin experiencing the changes we envision for ourselves. Momentum, another principle, in my way of understanding, that crosses the realms of Newtonian Physics and Quantum Physics, when applied to our beliefs, lives and experiences. Once again, a few can make rapid changes, most will see gradual changes, (of those that stick with the program, as it were).
At any rate, I feel I see the pool of information as mostly good, even with “The Secret” and those onstage teachers and gurus who are reaping huge financial rewards through their followers by presenting “their part” of the “Big Picture”. I feel that I see the “Big Picture” very well, with it becoming clearer and clearer week by week, month by month, and so on, to the point that I feel I can help others come to better their lives by understanding that we do all “create” our own realities through the belief systems we incorporate into our lives and the actions that we follow according to those beliefs…and inherent intuitions (another large part of this huge system).
Studying the writing of so may others (with the needed due discernment) from many directions (i.e.; from “The Secret”; to the Abraham/Hicks teachings; to Greg Braden’s observations, to Dr. David Hawkins practices; and many others), I have come to understand that this energetic field we live in can be used as a great and wonderful ‘tool’, and that all of humanity has equal access to it regardless of religious belief (this is part of what makes us all “connected”), and this system, undeniably created by “a greater intelligence” is mechanical in nature, thus making it available to all. It’s just learning how to use it, live with it, love it and love each other, not necessarily in that order.
Bottom line for now is, it’s big, it can seem complicated, and it takes dedication and commitment to follow, for most. I feel it should become “a way of life”, which can take on a wide variety of appearances while meeting the requirements of this “mechanical system” to get it to work for us/with us.
Oh, and it takes goodness. This system does not work properly for mal-intent. Gratitude, love, giving, and like elements, all that require action.
Hope this makes sense to you and whoever reads through all of this, and will look for your outlook reply to this posting. Really, this only (almost) scratches the surface, as I’m sure you are aware.
Wow how great is this dialogue! We are evolving as a world, never before could we speak to others miles away, not even knowing them personally. So – I think to myself – we are growing nearer to universal consciousness = we are beginning and only beginning to understand that our higher selves are part of the universe, we are discussing on only a part understood concept using a brain which does not have access to some of the wonderful workings of the spirit. If we are all spiritually connected then we must have some influence on the experiences of others if it is alligned with the higher good (which would include what we consider bad too) If buying a beefburger has an effect on the rainforrest and therefore on global warming, then yes we have a part to play in the sunami. We have to be responsible for every action every word every thought that we allow to manifest from our consciousness. I have been however a little disturbed by some contrubutors using the word ‘blame’ – I think that the concept of responsibility could be clarified and that people should not automatically associate it with ‘blame’ ISNT IT FANTASTIC BEING AWARE OF ONES JOURNEY. soooo EXCITING!!!!
[…] Originally Posted by coachmike The difficulty for each of us is accepting 100% responsibility for everything we experience. Mike, that’s only a major difficulty when people actually believe they need to live up to such a completely inaccurate, Utopian goal. If each of us we’re living 100% of the time in our own physical box ( er, some of us figuratively are anyways ), then, YES, we SHOULD be 100% responsible for what WE experience…yet, we mingle with people, we co-create with others. Learn more at Are You A Responsibility Addict ? […]
[…] is the way to honestly find what rings true for you. For more, check out the conversation here: Are You a
[…] Originally Posted by MaryK ….Negative thoughts/actions/words from others are a reflection of some part of ourselves…. Mary, while it may seem disgracefully absurd to pick-holes in such a beautiful ( seemingly ) metaphysical axiom, the truth is that it’s been way over-due for a MAJOR tune-up. When you attempt to take responsibility for everybody else
At the risk of being accused of having no humility, please allow me to quote from my book, “How To Take No For An Answer And Still Succeed.”
“The only thing you can truly control is your mind. How you act, react and the decisions that you make are always your choice
“You have total control of your thoughts, actions, reactions and attitude. To further prove your level of control, you may give it up any time you wish.”
http://www.HowToTakeNo.com
So, responsibility, making your own reality? We have total responsibility or our actions and reactions. Every move we make is either reactive or proactive.
Manipulation happens when we are motivated to react in a certain way without thinking about it.
Those who allow themselves to be hypnotized by their own weaknesses, prejudices or fears can be awakened by the stunning realization of their lack of consciousness.
“The Secret” is motivating, but it’s not complete with an action plan. We can remove those areas that don’t fit us and follow the concept of personal action/reaction/responsibility without creating, as Barry & Heather write, extra arms or legs.
Tom Justin
[Heather’s REPLY]:
Hi Tom,
I remember discussing your book when I interviewed you several years ago, and I love some of your simple techniques for dealing with the creation of our own reality — or, as we like to call it, our “tree reality”.
But of course, you’re still not talking about creating our “forest reality” — the big picture things that happen on a global (or Universal) scale.
As for The Secret, you’re certainly not the first person to say that it’s incomplete because there’s no “action plan”, and we actually created http://MastersOfTheSecret.com in 2006/2007 to fill that void (for people who watched but were still unable to change their lives).
But whatever can be said about The Secret’s strengths and weaknesses, I do have to disagree with the common assertion that “it doesn’t tell you to take action,” as so many people say.
First of all, “action” is not PART of the Law of Attraction, per se. It’s something that you need to do AFTER the LOA has done its job. And The Secret never claimed to be about anything more than simply the LOA.
Secondly, several teachers in The Secret (Joe Vitale and Jack Canfield come to mind immediately) did say point-blank that you do have to take action (or specifically, “inspired action”) if you want to complete the process of manifesting what you’re attracting.
So for people who wanted an “action plan” laid out in the movie, and aren’t able to take action without one, they’re likely the same people who believe that “manifestation” means snapping your fingers and creating things out of thin air.
But they’re probably NOT members of our community, who for the most part are pretty sophisticated and knowledgeable, even if they might have trouble manifesting certain things (and our aim is to give them the tools and techniques to do so).
cheers
Heather
the article and all of the comments were very interesting.It is said that”it is not what is said or done but how we react to what is said or done. The movie “The Secret “, and now a sequel also the movie “you can heal your life” and Try it on everything” For along time I have had the thought,Awake Thou That Sleepth And Know thy self” A age of enlightment searching for answers.Higher Self or self or conscience or sub conscience or Ego or inner child gives much food for thought .Jesus said,”He new us before we were in the womb.” Therefore we were somewhere and are searching to get back there is a thought that I have.Also have read that we chose our parents.It is said “That God has a perfect plan for our lives and when we accept this and follow guidance we have an abundance life.” Lord I thank you for the abundance that is mine. When I have unconditional love for myself and others.Do not judge or critisize myself and others. And am able to think for myself I say yes to life and yes I am responsible for my thoughts ,words and actions. I do believe that you can heal your life It is said” that your subconscious does not know that you are talking about someone else when you mention to someone else “did you hear that so & so has cancer”, so be careful of what you say, read or hear or see.
As we gain awareness and knowledge we will change the way we think, act and talk. It is a wonderful time to be alive their is so much that we can learn.I am thankful that their are mentors to help us on our path.Also that their is a guidance within us that leads us to various web sites.May I share something amusing? I heard about the book “Think And Grow Rich” I am 78 years young and on a fixed income so I could not buy it I wanted it so badly that I was led to where on here I could get it free. Others would say you manifested it, the Bible states” in philippians that my God shall supply my need.If you were to ask me where on here I could not tell you ,I wanted to share with my son but at a loss to find it again.Anyway in this book it tells you that the answer to the LOA is in every chapter but if you are not ready for it you will not understand or learn it .Maybe it is at the Library. So many are searching and they get where they do not believe in the LOA if they only knew that it does work but perhaps they are not ready for it. Aperson wins the Lottery and ends up worse off they were not capable of handling it.You can not want an abundance of riches just for yourself you need to serve and benefit others.God Bless all of you and Be Well.
I think “You create everything you experience” can be a backdoor method of the mind trying to gain control over this order-within-apparent-chaos situation we call Life.
I appreciate the differences between Attracting and Creating.
Thank you for making the distinctions between Self and self in the discussions of the Laws…those distinctions make sense!
I agree with what you wrote for the most part.
I do take it one step further than you. I recently went through a change of bosses after my department was decimated. The people who were cut from my department were, by and large, very negative people. My new boss is very negative and only numbers oriented. Even though I work at a college, she would prefer that there were no people involved.
I asked myself, out loud, “Why is it that I attract such negative people.” I did not make these people negative. I did not create the decimation of my department, though I did not take steps to prevent it.
I believe that if I take “responsibility” for negativity around me, I might do something to change it. If I consider myself a victim of negative people, I will never change.
I probably agree with you more than I don’t. What I call being responsible, you may call “facilitating”. I can accept that.
As far as the tsunami – I can ask, “What have I done to help people get out of poverty and have strong houses?” Or I could ask, “What have I done to help Indonesia become a prosperous country that could have had a tsunami warning system? Or have I only bought clothing from their sweatshops without caring about the Indonesian economy?”
Am I at fault? No. Can I learn something from it to improve, even if it had nothing to do with me? Yes.
AT LAST I got to read your article, there is definately a problem with your XHtml. Have you tried verifying it through W3? It could just be A theme problem though… Just thought I would warn you from one webmaster to another because I would hate to lose my traffic if I had an issue and didn’t notice.
Wonderful post – I was thinking about a similar article which I will probably still take a shot at, but from a slightly different angle. Thanks for sharing this with your readers…Obviously a lot of others appreciate it too!