(Video) The Problem With Gratitude
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As always, we’re here to help you “think” — to even cajole you, if needed, to really get you to KNOW how certain time-worn practices or approaches DO or DON’T add value (results) to your life.
Certainly, tomorrow (at least for our readers in the U.S.) is the day that we’re accustomed to really bringing out our gratitude tools… to be thankful, and show appreciation for what we have — and even what we’re about to get (assuming we’re stepping the use of gratitude up a notch).
Yes, there’s no doubt that gratitude is an inner feeling that keeps you connected to higher power. Surely, when Herbert Spencer uttered that “Gratitude is the Tune of the Angels,” that’s what he meant.
Yet, there is another perspective on HOW to actually employ it. It’s a slight distinction that could very well help you bring more of your desires into your life, much faster.
Drew Rozell, Ph.D, who we’ve known since 2005, tells you all about it. He’s a conscious creator, a coach and a genuine all-around good guy who, like us, doesn’t mind digging a bit beneath the surface.
We hope you enjoy his message, and enjoy your Thanksgiving tomorrow. Or, if you’re not in the U.S., still take the time to use the technique that Drew shows you below, even if you won’t have family members (and/or a turkey) around to try it on.
Listen In To Learn About The Problem With Gratitude:
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Will This Really Shock You?
Well, Darius and his crew say it well.
And, even though we like keeping things a tad more grounded, when it comes to “Wealth Creation” (we do believe our post Wealth Is NOT An Inside Job makes that point clear), 🙂 we’re still going to tell you about:
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Until we write again…
Your Partners In The Quest For
Living a Life Without Limits,
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Filed under: Gratitude
Happy Thanksgiving Barry and Heather! I loved the video and I “‘appreciate” the information. I could feel the distinction and shift from including the past in my thoughts of gratitude versus the feeling of appreciation. Good stuff as always…
Gayle
[ Barry’s Reply ] —
Happy Turkey Day to you too Gayle. We appreciate you too. Talk soon.
I don’t agree with this notion of ‘clean appreciation’ vs gratitude. I understand the distinction. However I associate gratitude as being thankful to a higher source.
There is a greater quality of respect,,(maybe from the hardships from the past, as noted). But that’s not a bad thing,, to remember where we came from and how we got to greater things. It is through gratitude that we can attune to a lighter sence of appreciation.
Everyone has a different standard for being a ‘high hitter’ and gratitude and appreciation is the opposite of competition.
[ Barry & Heather’s Reply ] —
And, Sofia, it’s quite alright that you don’t agree with Drew. Yet, in our opinion, his distinction is a good one — you CAN’T be grateful for something without subconsciously comparing what you’re grateful for with something that you’ve NOT been grateful for. Otherwise, WHY are you grateful for it? By the same token, you can’t truly feel happy — and KNOW you’re happy — without understanding what it feels like to be sad, and vice versa.
We’ve spoken about the Yin-Yang cycle of life many, many, many (did we stress “many”?) on this blog. And, to attempt to avoid one or clamor to another just brings about an unbalanced view of life where you try to go up the hill, but never come down… or you try to stay in the daylight without accepting that after awhile, night WILL fall.
It’s common real-world physics… if you flip a coin 100 times, you WILL end up getting approximately 50 heads and 50 tails; it will NEVER be 90% heads and only 10% tails.
And speaking of real-world: the key, Sofia, is to have YOUR inner work make a true difference to your real-world, physical life. If you can do that by eschewing healthy competition as being “bad”, rather than a revealing metaphor than life — and you’re seeing results that support that view — then more power to you.
Don’t have time to check the video, but your comments on gratitude reminded me of something.
If memory serves, the Japanese language has seven (or nine) ways of expressing gratitude – and all express resentment to one degree or another.
Gratitude, basically, is thanking someone else for doing something you could not, would not, or did not do, hence the resentment.
I’ve found that to be true in Western culture, also, although we are not so definitive about it.
[ Barry’s Reply ] —
Hey, Barney, nice thought, and good points, about the Japanese interpretation. Now, find time to watch Drew’s video so you can get somebody else’s perspective 🙂
Very cool post. I’ve been thinking about gratitude alot lately.. for obvious reasons. Thank you for the information! 🙂 I feel like this will help me out alot.
Peace
Latasia
[ Heather’s Reply ] —
You’re perfectly welcome, Latasia. Nice to hear that it made an impact. Take care.
I think this distinction actually isn’t a distinction at all. To appreciate a beautiful vista or a flower or the beauty of a wife’s character or whatever and say its clean appreciation to distinguish it from mere gratitude for a beautiful house or for a fantastic car or lots of money, is bogus. And it is bogus because whenever anyone says something like “do you ever take the time to just look at the sky or a flower or a bird and really really see it and appreciate it etc etc” in order to make a point about how we never really appreciate things, well what they never seem to understand themselves is that the type of appreciation that they are really attempting to direct our awareness to is an appreciation that would appreciate a ghetto or a polluted skyline or a pile of toxic waste floating down a river no less. That is real clean appreciation which does’nt drag in any sense of lack with it. If a flower is more appreciatable than something less appreciatable, then that so called “clean appreciation” is not actually different from what is being vilified ( bit of a heavy word but it’ll do:) ) as mere gratitude. So what I’m saying is that if Drew can say he would appreciate a polluted skyline just as much as the beautiful vista he shows in the video, he’s kidding himself and everyone who watches the video who falls for his line of reasoning as he will be unconsciously comparing the vista with less conventionally beautiful ones that he remembers 🙂
Sorrry, what I meant to say is “unless Drew can say he would appreciate a polluted skyline just as much as the beautiful vista, unless he can say that, he’s kidding himself that he is actually expressing the so called clean appreciation he claims to be”
hi Barry and Heather —
thanks for sharing my thoughts here…
and I appreciate (no pun intended) your insights…
the distinction is a subtle one…
at the end of the day, there are two different feelings within appreciation and gratitude.
we get to choose which feeling we focus on…. and whichever you choose, I believe it’s in your best interest to choose the one that feels better.
in my experience, bringing the story of my past struggles into the present tends to activate a feeling of struggle (along with some relief)…
for me, there’s no struggle with appreciation… no story… just feeling good.
thanks again,
drew
Hi Barry and Heather,
A comment about the response to Sophia. Flipping a coin 100 times in the real world can create a 90/10 percentage of heads to tails (try it). Odds, not physics, declares the key is that each time you flip the coin there is a 50/50 chance or possibility that the coin will land on heads (or tails), no matter what the past has shown so far.
One can be grateful to be alive or for their mere existence. They are unable to know another way, they haven’t known death. They appreciate their body, mind, and spirit, as well as, other aspects they see advantageous.
I think Drew has some work to do (like the rest of us). His might lie in the area of his past or present that is rifled with his past.
The distinction between appreciation and gratitude: Being grateful is not an action, but rather a state. Appreciation is the act of being grateful. One can get into state of gratitude by appreciating the things in their life; or one can be in the state of gratitude and begin showing appreciation. They are inseparable, yet, clearly distinct.
Thank you and keep up the good work!
Many on this post (I haven’t read them all), have helped me clean up my definition of gratitude vs. appreciation. First of all the best thing for me is Drew’s definition of “gratitude” because that will help flush up all those bad memories, like he said, and then that would bring up a way of seeing the “benefit” of those so-called negative experiences because in fact they were all experiences to help in my expansion.
Abraham-Hicks says those so-called bad relationships were actually the ones that helped you expand the most but you never went to that expansion because you’re still focusing on the “bad” in the relationship. You never really forgave or soothed those past experiences into a “better feeling place” or you never really appreciated them beyond the contrast. I myself have DEEP gratitude for every good and bad relationship because I am at a very expanded place for having DEEPLY appreciated every single one of them. So I thank all of you women who have made me a better man!!!
And I thank everyone on this post for awakening my own clarity on this subject. Now let’s learn real thankfulness from children before they were forced fed how to act “politically correct” and say thanks in the “proper way.” Just seeing a “tear” of gratefulness can be more fulfilling than a million dollars worth of thanks.