“This is how I feed my family<\/em>? Buy from me, not for the quality of what I offer, but because you feel sorry<\/em> for me?” I scoffed.<\/p>\n “What complete and utter victimitis thinking,” Barry added. “A total turn-off to a potential customer. It’s just one step above standing on the street corner with a sign and a tin cup, begging for spare change.”<\/p>\n You might be thinking, “Well, that’s a rare example of someone with a sales job who just doesn’t understand the concept of value-for-value, or quid pro quo<\/em>.”<\/p>\n The sad thing is, we’ve seen a lot more of it than you’d expect lately<\/strong>.<\/p>\n ==<\/strong> Cont’d<\/em><\/strong><\/span> = =<\/strong><\/p>\n Alright, yeah, I understand. Times are tough, and some people are feeling desperate. Desperate times call for desperate measures, and all that stuff, right?<\/p>\n The thing is, universal laws don’t change based on the economy<\/strong>. Value is always given for value received, no matter what. Thinking, feeling and acting like a victim will always make you a victim, no matter what. And hanging in your comfort zone will always make you uncomfortably<\/em> comfortable (read “stuck in a rut”), no matter what.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n Right off the top of my head, I can think of two people that we used to work with pretty closely who figure playing it safe<\/em>, or even playing the pity card, is the way to go.<\/p>\n One recently wrote a blog post where he claimed he was going to be bold and daring, and write things he’d never written before. What he ended up doing was complaining about how his life is really in the dumps, despite having always told people how great he’s doing. He wrote about his health problems, and his money problems, and his family problems, and mentioned how he needed to sell some of his products to pay the rent.<\/p>\n Yikes. That wasn’t bold and daring, it was pitiful.<\/strong> If he needed to sell some stuff to pay the rent, he should have focused on the amazing value he offered the customer, not the incredible lack he was experiencing. Apparently he, like the salesman at the furniture store, figured people would buy from him because they felt sorry for him.<\/p>\n The other person feels a need to constantly be cranking out feel-good<\/em> quotes and snippets of universal lessons. He figures it inspires people — and he may be right — but it’s a hollow, temporary inspiration.<\/p>\n See, inspiration is not the same as motivation. Being inspired can<\/em> motivate people… but a good swift kick in the rear end can, too.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n And that takes us back to the comfort zone<\/strong>. Inspirational words keep many people sitting on their big plush comfort-zone couch. Some get inspired enough to get up and do something, but most don’t. However, if you dump that person off the couch and tell him what he’s doing to keep his butt glued in place — and how he can break free — you’re more likely to see some real<\/span> results.<\/p>\n If you watch America’s Got Talent<\/em>, you’ll understand this analogy. Nine times out of ten, Piers Morgan<\/span> will have something constructive to say to the performers. He’ll tell them what he liked, what he didn’t like, and why. He’ll point them in right direction to improve their act, and often they’ll come back with something way better than they ever could have come up with on their own.<\/p>\n It’s the equivalent of dumping them off their comfort-zone couch<\/em><\/strong> and telling them how to move ahead and achieve greatness.<\/p>\n David Hasselhoff<\/span>, on the other hand, rarely has anything constructive to say, unless he’s parroting what the other judges have already commented on. The rest of the time, it’s “That was fantastic!” “You were terrific!” and “That’s what this show is all about!”<\/p>\n It’s the equivalent of reading them hollow, Pollyanna-ish inspirational quotes<\/em><\/strong> that do nothing but make them feel better in the moment… and give them validation to stay in their comfort zone.<\/p>\n Sharon Osborne<\/span> kind of floats between the two, sometimes offering feedback of value, and sometimes gushing like David, depending on how “harsh” (read “right on”) Piers has already been.<\/p>\n It’s kind of like she’s operating a safety net… she’ll be honest if she’s the first to give feedback, but she’ll over-praise if she’s not, just so nobody feels too bad. If they do, they might decide to “jump” (figuratively) off the stage, and she’d be there to catch them.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n This safety-net mentality<\/strong><\/em> is holding many people back, every day. One of my in-laws has no ambition, and staggers along at the level of status quo, because she figures there will always be a government program or family member to lend her a hand and hold out the safety net for her.<\/p>\n Another in-law is a tall, young, beautiful girl who had the opportunity a decade ago to go to New York and be a model and actor. She loves show biz — she directs and stars in community theater plays all the time — but she chose to turn her back on an exciting career she would have adored because her family convinced her to play it safe, and stay small… snuggled up on her comfort-zone couch.<\/p>\n\n
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